Before the Surprise

For my 14^th birthday, my mother planned a surprise party for me. Six weeks later, I would graduate from eighth-grade and my friends and I would be split between two high schools. She wanted this year’s birthday to be extra special and include all my good friends.  That was the plan. What led up to that night was far different than what she had expected.

During the two weeks prior to the party, I found myself doubting many of my friendships. I had always had a poor self-image. Although I had many friends, I never really accepted that they truly liked me as I was. I always felt that I was one step away, one wrong word away, from losing them all. So when I began to walk up to a group of these friends and the conversation abruptly ended or changed, I was sure it was because they did not want me around anymore. The first time this happened, I tried to explain it away. As this happened repeatedly, I began crying myself to sleep by the end of the two weeks. Not willing to admit this to anyone, even my parents, I suffered this heartbreak alone.

The night of my birthday finally came. My mother had told me that she and my grandmother were going to take me out to dinner to celebrate. When we arrived at my grandmother’s house, she asked me to take a bag of glass jars down to her basement before we left. I still remember feeling that even on my birthday, I had to work. When I reached the bottom step the lights came on and yells of “Surprise!” filled the room.  My knees went weak and I nearly dropped that bag of jars leaving broken glass on the floor.

The night proceeded with fun and laughter. I finally had the courage to share my fears with these friends. We laughed as we discussed how conversations had been about ride arrangements, gift ideas and the disappointment of the two guys who were unable to attend due to a wrestling meet. What I had perceived as rejection had, in fact, been preparation for a huge blessing. They had actually been trying their hardest to not give away the surprise. When I would walk up at an inopportune moment, they had feared that I would realize what was truly going on.

Looking at how things turned out in my life, I often see parallels. Not all things have been easy; in fact, many events have been quite difficult. I have found myself over the years asking God why he let me endure certain things. I have also found, from the other side of these trials, that all I endured was necessary for the full benefit of the blessing to come. It was my misperception of the circumstances and the hearts of my friends that caused far more pain than the circumstances themselves. It is a constant reminder to remember one of the attributes ascribed to true love, “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person.” (1 Corinthians 13:7a AMP)   Think the best of others. 

Secrecy among my friends was critical to pull off the surprise party. God’s secrecy during difficult times is often critical to the character development He has planned for us.  That is when we can take total comfort in the promise of Jeremiah^,  “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome,” (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP) Even through tears, we can remind ourselves of this promise, “and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 ESV) 

Sometimes, we believe that we know the best way. That way would most likely be comfortable. Sometimes we are not happy with the fact that God is calling the shots. “But our God is in heaven; He does whatever He pleases.” (Psalm 115:3 AMP)  We can become frustrated when we remember the words the prophet Isaiah. ^”For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8 AMP) But we must never forget the next verse in that passage.  ”For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9 AMP) The next verses go on to speak of many things that God does routinely that are way beyond our ability or even our comprehension. If we remember all of this, we can remain confident when our life circumstances are confusing, uncomfortable and beyond our control.

Are these things easy to do? In our own power they are impossible! But I have found two key steps by which I can, in the power provided by the Holy Spirit, remain fairly stable in the difficult times of my life. The first comes from Proverbs.  “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)  I truly know that he is wiser than I and always trustworthy.  I have also learned to, ”Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4 AMP)   Even through tears, I can remind myself of how big God is and how great his love for me remains.  This will bring the feelings of joy I may lack in the moment.

Just like that surprise party followed a very difficult time for me, some of the greatest development in my character, or the blessings of others, have also followed difficult times. Sometimes, I have responded similarly to that 14-year-old who let emotions and misconceptions cause unnecessary pain. Other times, and more often recently, I have walked in greater trust. The difficulties are the same, but having joy and peace in the midst of them is beyond compare.

So when the times are roughest, remember to trust, love and praise.  The journey through the trials will be far more pleasant.  The end will always be God’s best for you!